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Living freely

Day 36


"Wildflowers can't be controlled, and neither can the girl with a soul boundless as the sky, and a spirit as free and wild as the ocean." Melody Lee





At a certain point you begin to learn about yourself, or see consistencies in your patterns, thoughts and behaviors. Over time, after reviewing some of the actions and decisions I’ve made in life (particularly when I went against the grain or may have had a spirit of rebellion) I began to see that something about my actions was tied to my perception of freedom.


There are times it could have been selfish or viewed as inconsiderate, but I also see that my reactions were methods of self-protection when I did not find ways to express or articulate my feelings in a clearer and more loving way. Whenever I felt as though my freedom of choice was jeapordized, I either withdrew or reacted


I can look back and see many different events that led me to this search or desire to hold on to freedom, however I also believe my search for freedom has been my journey to stand in confidence in who I am. I believe most of us really just want to be seen and heard, for who we are, walking in our truths, but not dependent on the acceptance of others.


I often go back to my love of flowers and nature and how I’ve always been drawn to wildflowers. Whenever I saw a seed of a dandelion on the city streets as a young girl, I’d rush to grab them, close my eyes, make a wish and watch it blow in the wind. I loved watching how freely it moved throughout the air, never knowing how the pieces would land. There is a part of me that often yearned to be allowed to drift and move as I choose.


I’m learning how to navigate this more and more in my relatiobnships with others but also in my relationship with self. My freedom is tied to my inner sense of being. It is not tied to what others think of me or may project on me. Freedom does not have to be a fight or battle with others. We all need autonomy in being who we are, but must also find balance in remaining in community with others. Ultimately, our freedom always lies in our inner thoughts and our knowing of self. I am excited to stand in a quiet confidence, freely being myself, landing with people, places and experience that see the beauty in me, just as I am.



"Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?" Rumi

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